Whats the REAL story behind Patrick Childress, sailing the last storm of his life? Whats the future for his wife and first mate Rebecca Childress onboard their 1976 Valiant 40, Brick House, after a near circumnavigation, and the Patrick Childress Sailing Channel here on YouTube?
Patrick and Rebecca Childress have been sailing around the world for 13 years, and recently sailed around the Cape of Good Hope, the Cape of storms, to Hout Bay, and then to one of Patrick Childress' most remembered places in the world, Cape Town, where he had visited nearly 40 years ago on his first circumnavigation aboard Juggernaut, a Catalina 27. He had spoken fondly about the Royal Cape Yacht Club for a decade before arriving here. Its interesting that Cape Town turned out to be his final resting place. Rebecca Childress now decides where her liveaboard sailing life will lead her, what to do about her liveaboard home of 25+ years, Brick House, and explains the trauma of getting very sick in a foreign country, and then losing her captain in Cape Town, South Africa.

Special Thanks to Paper Boat Project, Sailing Uma , The OKelley's, Follow the Boat and other sailing channels who helped spread the word of the fundraiser so kindly started by Leanne Coffman and Matt Ray to pay for what health insurance refused to pay. There will be full details of the day by day experience on my blog soon. (sign up below)

Check out Patricks Book : https://amzn.to/30VaOGH

PLEASE watch your favorite video of Patrick’s from down below...and consider sharing it with your sailing friends in his honor:

Weather, Lightning Storms & Sailing the MOST FEARED CAPES of South Africa!
https://youtu.be/2P7Cc2Y61aE

Sailing WILD WEATHER w/ Electronics on the WILD Coast of Africa!
https://youtu.be/A84Eplb7N2c

Propspeed & Coppercoat FAILURE? SUCCESS? Does Antifouling Paint EVER WORK??
https://youtu.be/ekt5mYihdhI

How to Heat a Boat: Our Cubic Mini Wood Burning Stove is HOT ? HOT!
https://youtu.be/PuUYSUITc_A

RUDDER FAILURE on an Ocean Passage? Let’s find out!
https://youtu.be/JF7GfY6UifQ

Is Fixing up an old sailboat w/ 500 ROTTEN BLISTERS even worth it ??
https://youtu.be/9p216qliHnY

500 ROTTEN, FESTERING Blisters!! - Blister Repair on a Fiberglass Sail boat!
https://youtu.be/XA6sL3RRNEg

Our Coppercoat Antifouling Application -DISASTER or SUCCESS?
https://youtu.be/yoRntKgOye0

Cockpit Floor Repairs - Water Drainage - NO WET SOCKS!
https://youtu.be/S65FDoTJ3pA

How to Clean the Bottom of a Sailboat Underwater!
https://youtu.be/4iTec0hV3ZU

WHAT IS YOUR CHAINPLATE ATTACHED TO? (Bulkhead Rebuild / Repair)
https://youtu.be/JHBvkCa6lzI

What if you HIT A WHALE and the WHALE STRIKES back!
https://youtu.be/LviPsmE2iwo

Peeing Off a Boat ... How to Use a Sailboat Toilet /Head
https://youtu.be/7RIVINI07D8

Don’t Buy New Anchor Chain CHEAP! (+ Chain, Windlass, Anchor Chain Locker)
https://youtu.be/A4Qf04exvnw

How to Fix a Sailboat Deck, Repair it BEFORE the Windlass RIPS OUT!!
https://youtu.be/icJCAC-2xIw

How to Rebuild a Battery Box (LEAKING lead acid batteries on a Sailboat!!)
https://youtu.be/8ANe0hA7BXg

Leaking Lead Acid Batteries on a Sailboat! (Battery Box is Destroyed!)
https://youtu.be/WYlhinRAM0I

How to Repair a Heat Exchanger /Insulate an Exhaust Riser:Yanmar Engine-
https://youtu.be/U63KBEo_VDk

Un-Armed Pirates, Intruders, & Thieves:Self Defense for Sailboats
https://youtu.be/DCTaxqQxP70

Sailboat Keel Repair/Problem: SOMETHING IS MISSING FROM OUR KEEL !!
https://youtu.be/z3hujKNVb3c

How to Remove Old Bottom Paint the EASY WAY? Heat gun? Sanding? Sandblasting?
https://youtu.be/ULfJxWhG4_s

How to Prepare a Sailboat for a Haul out in South Africa
https://youtu.be/bXVETNHUy3w

Offshore Sailing Tips: Storms at Sea, Tame the Autopilot + Mainsail Battens
https://youtu.be/asC1koOtS5I

Nothing like a Mozambique Cyclone for some FAST SAILING!
https://youtu.be/ZrGMIlweQAo

STORM & PASSAGE PREPARATION:Sailing Tanzania to S Africa
https://youtu.be/f2iT81mQnvk

MARINE ELECTRONICS: Communications at Sea, Navigation, and Sailing Apps (Iridium Go? Sextant?)
https://youtu.be/2HwX2Ilr2f4

Is Sailing in East Africa Dangerous? Preparing for Passage when DANGER LURKS!
https://youtu.be/TtEQ6YvVJgs

Bluewater Sailboat “How To” Sailing Videos Series
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list...

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#sailingAfrica #PatrickChildressSailing #TravelsAnimals

Closed Captions (CC):
hello everybody my name is Rebecca and I

wanted to let you know what's going on

on brick house between Patrick and I and

the boat and the cat and our lives and

this YouTube channel so that's what this

video is going to be about what happened

Patrick Childress and what's gonna

happen going forward with the channel

and with my life what's gonna happen

with boat and all that kind of good

stuff so let's get started as many or

most of you know Patrick and I have been

cruising aboard brick house for the last

12 going on 13 years and about to

celebrate our 13-year wedding

anniversary and yeah it's been a bad

year so far back in April we both can

contract it coronavirus Cove in 19 and I

made out okay Patrick however did not he

was very sick for three or four days and

we decided to go to the hospital by

Saturday if it wasn't any better but on

Friday it was a lot worse he was

coughing a lot you know every day I had

been taking his temperature for months

and had been asking how his breathing is

and how his chest feels and every day

fine fine fine he said this was one of

the easiest floozies ever had he had on

starting on Tuesday he had a very bad

headache very bad body aches very high

fever about a hundred and two point nine

I think was the highest that it went we

were able to control it with Tylenol and

he just spent it in bed and he just

figured that time was what he needed for

it to just pass but we agreed on

Saturday if he wasn't better that we'd

go to the hospital and see what's going

on

see if we need some medication see what

we can do

but like I said on Friday it did get a

lot worse he couldn't spit out the words

to tell me that his breathing was okay

and that his chest was okay and so

somehow I convinced him not to wait

until Saturday but to go this morning

Friday and he wanted me to do the

laundry first he was pretty grumpy which

later I found out is a sign of epoxy ax

lack of oxygen but I didn't know that

then so I just you know figured he was

in a bad mood because he wasn't feeling

well and I do though I do the laundry to

avoid any hassle with that so I went and

did the laundry as fast as I could kind

of a rush job not the best laundry to

hop in the world and then he wanted to

walk to the hospital it was about two

miles away he thought we could both use

the exercise but it was a little rainy

so I managed to talk him into just

taking a taxi instead of walking when we

got to the hospital it was a huge

surprise his temperature his temperature

was high as we knew and we didn't take

it down because we needed the hospital

to be able to see the high temperature

and his oxygen level was 83% which the

doctors really panic if it's 80% or

lower and a normal person's is about 98

percent 95 percent something like that

but his blood pressure was through the

roof it was 210 and even mine was 140

and we both have very low broad blood

pressure like 110 120 that kind of thing

so that was a big surprise and it was an

even bigger surprise when the doctor saw

him and they said that he was very close

to cardiac arrest and if we had walked

in we would have made it and if we had

waited till Saturday he would have died

of a fixation because his oxygen was so

low so it's a good thing we went down

Friday and it was just such a big

surprise to hear the doctor say that he

was very very sick that he would

probably have to go on a ventilator that

day and he needed to be admitted to ICU

right away so even as he was getting

into the ambulance he and I were looking

at each other like

what I can't believe you're going into

ICU I thought they'd give you some cough

syrup or something so they'd stop

coughing and you could breathe better

and and you didn't even feel like he

couldn't breathe you know he just felt

like he was coughing a lot and you know

he said he could breathe through his

nose so he could breathe but the oxygen

just wasn't getting anywhere so he rode

away in the ambulance after we both had

you know Koba 19 swabs and that night we

learned that we were both positive which

we both kind of thought for like two

months a month and a half he was pretty

proud that he had gotten over it

except for this new flu and mine had

lingered on and on and on and never

seemed to go away and in South Africa

maybe like many places of the world they

don't really encourage you to come in to

get tested unless you've got three big

symptoms which is fever cough and you

can't breathe and it's pretty important

that you can't breathe in order to

really get a test or really get any

tension in the hospital because they're

concentrating on people that need to be

hospitalized for this not just who want

to know if they have it or not so that

night we found that we're both positive

he very quickly I had to stay

quarantined for 14 days so when he was

complaining about the food and

complaining about not having Kleenex you

know I had to go crazy trying to find

friends that would bring these things

into them and Thank You Carolina and Bob

for being so quick to bring things in

and and the Royal Cape Yacht Club just

volunteered to do anything I needed so

many people came forward so quickly to

help me but so hard having my hands tied

and just you know asking people to bring

him lunch when they don't really know

what he likes and me not knowing what's

really available but anyway I was

quarantined on the boat for 14 days and

he was hospitalised and by Monday he had

gone down so far that he had to finally

go on the ventilator and like everybody

else reads in the world you know event

laterz the death sentence only 10%

survives so you know I think a big part

of me went into grieving right then and

there it was a really really rough week

probably the roughest week of my life

and he dent went down and down and down

and down every day the worst report 11

days of just bad report after bad report

you know and you know I thought about

transferring them to a different

hospital but everything that I've read

and heard and was told about the

hospital he is in he's in the top covin

19 hospital anywhere in South Africa so

there really wasn't anywhere to move him

I thought about trying to evacuate him

to the US but you know that was a gamble

time wise you know it's a 24-hour flight

even if you get a nonstop flight and

there are no flights out so and he had

said to me right before he went on the

ventilator you know that I was thinking

about having him evacuated to the US and

he said I mean it was the loudest that

he spoke all weekend he was no no no no

no so I wasn't going to do that and go

against everything we had talked about

beforehand if we were to ever get sick

in a foreign country so and then by

Tuesday I found out that insurance

wasn't paying first they said a pandemic

then they said a disease outbreak then

they said CDC warnings have to get back

within 10 days they had a series of

reasons why they were not going to cover

this so of course then my mind being a

pretty financial mind went into

overdrive oh my god what if it's three

hundred thousand dollars to treat him

you know you read things in the States

that it's a million dollars for people

that don't have insurance in her three

hundred thousand dollars or you know

even seventy five thousand dollars would

be horrible so yeah I went into panic

mode that talked to some lawyers and

there I am like total grieving mode and

I'm talking to lawyers and I'm talking

to oh god it was such a mess that week

it was just whoo it was just so horrible

and anyway so by day 12 or so things

started getting a little bit better

every day I got a little tiny baby baby

baby step that he was a little bit

better I think all of you guys thought

that he had turned the corner and that

he was getting better and but of course

my mind you know I'm not I don't always

think positive so easily so you know I

had a kind of mixed thing going on and I

was just you know coming up with plan a

plan B Plan C plan D everything that

could possibly happen how I'm going to

deal with it and Patrick I'm sure you've

all gathered it from watching him you

know he's pretty much a hundred percent

guy you know even if his body only came

back to 90 percent or god forbid 50

percent he would not be happy with

anything less than a hundred percent and

part of what he's done for the last 15

years is try to make me happy I mean

everything that that man has done has

been to try to make me happy and fill my

dreams so um you know I had to come up

with a plan of where we were gonna live

and what we were gonna do with the rest

of our lives so that he could be on

dialysis three times a week or live with

amputated fingers and toes or be in a

wheelchair forever or any of the number

of bad things that can come after come

out of long ventilator things like this

so but I had to find something that I

wanted to do for the rest of my life and

be at for the rest of my life so that I

could still look at him right in the eye

and say Patrick I'm happy with our lives

this is I'm thrilled to be living at XYZ

and I love my life here and I love my

life with you and and yeah this sucks

that we have to go to dialysis for six

hours every three days and yeah that

sucks but at least we're in a wonderful

place at least we're doing something

that we both love and I have to be able

to look at it look at him in the eye and

tell him that so

I felt this tremendous need to plan

something good for us because he'd

always go along with what I wanted to do

so but on day 23 I got a call at about

8:30 in the morning that said I had to

get there as quickly as possible to say

goodbye so off I raced to the hospital I

think in my pajamas glad I didn't crack

up the car went to the hospital flew in

the door got permission had the phone

calls got to the ward the nurse didn't

want me to go in until after the doctors

rounds somehow I had the presence of

thought to realize that I had the

doctors phone number on my phone so I

called him and he came out within

seconds it's like he dropped everything

and led me in there and you know all

kinds of tubes and machines and hoses

and sounds an alarm and but there was my

Patrick he was still beautiful to me

still gorgeous to me and I held his hand

didn't even look like his hand anymore

it was all like inflamed and gorged with

and it be my guess and and I stroked his

forehead his nose his ears this

beautiful white hair and just told him

it was okay that he put up such a good

fight and he tried so hard and I knew he

wasn't doing it on purpose

and then that I joined him on the other

side someday and but that it was okay

for him to go and you know his yeah his

eyes were staring his eyes were staring

right at the ceiling you know kind of in

a I think he was on morphine at this

point so he was just staring at the

ceiling and

and as I was talking to him his eyes

just darted for just like a second or

two and looked right at me and then a

tear came out of his left eye it's like

when we got married and then all the

machines all of a sudden said zero and

they flatlined all the lines going

across just like you see in the movies

and he was gone

okay okay so I've washed my face and

stopped crying I want to show you what

he did with his eyes you know besides

the tear I want to show you what he did

with his eyes maybe somebody you know

with a medical background can comment

down below about whether it was just a

just a nerve movement or if he really

was trying to look at me and see me one

more time but like I'm staring at the

camera right now those are his eyes

staring staring at the ceiling and then

I'm over I don't know what side it would

be but anyway I'm over there and his

eyes went like this no not like that

like I'm staring at the ceiling and they

went like that and then the tear came

from his eye so you know I don't know if

that was a one last attempt to see me or

look at me or apologize to me for

leaving I don't know jeez I'm gonna cry

him no not gonna cry again um so anyway

they wanted me to stay at the hospital

and do some paperwork or something but I

couldn't do it so I just said I'm going

to leave now and I took off my PPE the

way that they had told me to take off

the PPE and I left I went pretty fast

out of the hospital of course you know I

still had all my lung problems from

Kovan 19 so I'm huffing

puffing and just trying to find my way

out of this huge hospital and remember

this one old man looked at me and I just

said which way do I get out where's the

exit he looked at me he looked like he

was a crazy man I probably looked like I

was a crazy woman and and then I kept

going and I got out to the parking lot

and somehow I drove the car back and

didn't crack it up and didn't get lost

and went right to the boat and hugged my

cat for a long time and then friends

came over in the afternoon two or three

girlfriends you know just came right on

and gave me hugs thank God for those

hugs I don't want to cry you don't want

to see me cry okay so they came over and

you know one of them helped me make

funeral arrangements and one of them

just brought me something to eat

and we had some laughs and talked about

other things and just tried to get

through that day and we got through that

day and then they went home to their

friends in there

lovers and husbands and God the

loneliness really set in then so anyway

so what's next well I'm making a bunch

of you know executor things signing

papers and getting death certificates

making funeral arrangements he's going

to be cremated he's cremated now by the

time I'm writing this he's created and

at some point someday when I'm far out

at Ocean in the ocean again I'll be

spreading his ashes he liked to be far

away from land so that's where I'll be

putting his ashes and then hopefully

from brick house and let's see as far as

the boat goes you know I had a lot of

plans that I've gone through every day I

have a different plan then I guess

that's why they say don't make any big

decisions in the first few weeks because

they'll change every day and they have

first I thought about just taking the

boat out with his ashes just taking it

out to sea maybe another boat coming

with me and just dumping you know just

letting the captain go down with the

boat just scuttling the boat and letting

it sink but that would be a waste so

decided not to do that decided to sell

the boat here maybe give a South African

that really wants to go cruising with a

nice boat an opportunity to own

something very nice for not so much

money but that didn't make a hell of a

lot of financial sense for me it's not

like I'm rich so then I decided you know

I'd get friends or pay some captains or

something maybe use say low po2 you know

get the boat home and sell it in the US

so I'd make my money but sell the boat

lose my husband my sailing partner the

love of my life my soul mate you know

lose him

and lose my home all at the same month

or year you know I had this boat before

I met Patrick I lived on this boat

before I met Patrick so why do I have to

get rid of my home yeah it's probably

the best financial thing she's at the

top of her game she's had everything

done in the last year she's in perfect

condition and that's what Patrick and I

had always talked about that if he was

to pass away that that I'd sell the boat

as quickly as possible and get the most

amount of money for it it's a famous

boat right and it's in perfect shape

right so I I looked into that for a

while and um but I still was like lose

my boat I mean I worked for before I

ever knew Patrick I worked for 15 years

to have this boat and

have this lifestyle and thank God I

found him to share it with me in the end

but I don't want to lose all that I

don't want to lose it all you know it's

it's a whole different thing without

Patrick but I don't want to lose it and

I don't want to just go and have

somebody help me take the boat someplace

and finish my circumnavigation just

because Patrick would be proud of that

you know it's about what I'm proud of

now and I just want to continue this

life you know I like sailing to

different places in different countries

and doing it damn slow so I can get to

know every country and so I'm gonna do

that I'm gonna find a way to do that you

know I'm not a single hander I'm not a

good sailor I'm very much a fair-weather

sailor I really suck at sailing but you

know if I can find you know one or two

crew long-term I don't want somebody for

two or three weeks to help me get it

from point A to point B and then leave

when they get to the Anchorage you know

I want to share the sailing the passage

making the day sailing the anchoring the

exploring on land I want to share that

with a person or two you know somebody

my age 50 60s male or female it doesn't

really matter I'm not looking for a

lover I'm not looking for a husband I'm

just looking for somebody to share life

with and share adventures with and see

the world and be free and all the stuff

that I've worked with it worked for for

15 years and then sailed for for the

last 13 years so yeah that's what I want

to figure out a way to do I think it

might be impossible I don't know you

know talk to other single-handed females

that have had a similar situation and

you know while you get his old horny

geezers and young guys that want an

extended booze cruise and you know you

don't really get anybody in their 50s or

60s to sail with I mean it was so hard

to find the first

time you know what makes me think I can

find it a second time right so but I'm

gonna try gonna give it a shot see what

happens but I don't want to give up

everything this year it's hard enough to

give up Patrick so yeah that's the plan

I don't know how soon it'll happen I'm

in lockdown here until I don't know

September November next February

who knows when it will you know finish

here and let us leave my visa is

expiring in a couple weeks but I don't

think it matters I think they'll just

let us stay until this lockdown finishes

I'm just a little nervous about you know

if it lifts on September 1st that's in

two months you know what if I don't have

somebody on this boat to go sailing with

to go sailing away and they want me to

leave I'm not getting on a plane without

my cat I'm not getting on a plane

without the ability to get back to my

home for months and months and you know

I don't want to go back and live in a

house in the u.s. even part time I want

to live in my home here on the boat so

anyway that's the plan

I hope it's been the plan for at least

four days now that's longer than any

other plan has stuck but we'll see what

happens

and let's see if there's any buddy out

there that wants to go see the world

with me Brazil Namibia Spain the

Caribbean I don't know

Patagonia no yeah my life's never gonna

be the same again but maybe it can be

just different and good too so you know

I know that Patrick you know he spent

the last 15 years trying to help me fill

my dream and do what I want to do with

my life

almost like my life was more important

than his and he wouldn't want me to be

sitting here crying doing this video

he'd be very unhappy with me crying

through this video he'd be saying to me

what's taking so long

aren't you gonna get on with your life

it could be finished next year it could

be finished tomorrow so why are you

spending today crying get on with it so

I'm gonna really try and get on with it

and find a way to be happy okay so

what's next for this YouTube channel I

don't know what do you guys think you

know leave some comments down below what

do you think I should do next should I

just leave this channel let this be the

last video and be done with it and let

it just be what was really his channel

I'll never be able to make videos like

that he was the film er the photographer

the videographer the editor and then

once it was finished that's where I took

over and did all the other logistics

that you don't even see I know how to do

those but I have no idea how to use a

camera and really no idea how to edit

just even just trying to pick a an

editing program he hated the one that he

used movie MAGIX Movie Maker MAGIX

something like that he had just bought

DaVinci something and I'm gonna try that

one and I'm gonna try the free one that

comes with Windows Movie Maker 10 and

see which one I can handle see if I can

do this at all see if I can make any

worthwhile video but what do you want to

hear more about do you want to hear

about sailing from a woman's perspective

from a Widow's perspective

that's entertaining I don't know we have

I have footage from him still even

intros that we did about our new

security system about our lithium

batteries about our bomb our high output

alternator and serpentine belt and and

regulator I have covered video footage

of our new hybrid hot-water heater from

taured water my water heaters yeah I

have some footage I mean some of it

silent just showing the installation I'd

have to do voiceovers like he was

apparently planning to do it's gonna

take some serious learning a serious

upgrade to my skills to learn how to do

that but I'm willing if you guys want to

see it I'm willing to learn it if I can

I'm sure I can and or do you want to see

you know maybe it depends a lot on who

the guys are that I get on board the

guys and the girls and what their

interest level is you know maybe one of

them has a drone maybe we just do

destinations now you know what do you

guys want to see let me know in the

comments down below would be interesting

to hear what you think this channel

could become or should become or maybe I

should just not do anymore at all I

don't know there will be at least one

more video because Patrick has one

that's already I just didn't think it

was the right time to put it up yet

because it's totally of me he's not in

it at all unless he's maybe in the intro

or something but yeah he's not in it at

all it's about predict wind about the

Iridium go and about how we get that all

on the Raymarine chartplotter

so yeah a little little technical video

not that technical pretty pretty

beginners but just to show you what it

can do so that one's all finished

I haven't managed to do my part of it to

get it up in all these weeks I've been

doing a lot of other things and but that

one will be easy for me to put up after

this one so I guess I'll plan on that

one next but um I hope you won't

unsubscribe I hope you'll subscribe if

you haven't already and I hope you'll

give me a thumbs up to encourage me to

do these or maybe give me a lot of

thumbs down that'll tell me don't bother

we don't want to see you Rebecca we're

here to see Patrick and and what I'll do

is I'll put a down in the description

down below I'll put a whole list with

links of all of Patrick's videos so you

can easily find them all and it would be

great if you would share any one of

those or even just watch one of those

sort of as a tribute to Patrick I think

that would be pretty cool so yeah find

one down below find your favorite one

and share it with your friends with your

sailing friends that would be cool yeah

we'll see where this goes let us know

what you think let me know god I gotta

get out of the habit of saying we and us

there's no more we or us there's you

know Patrick will always be by my side

and I know that he's already next to me

saying hurry up have some fun find some

people to go sailing with and go I know

he's saying that and so that's what I'm

gonna do that's that'll be my goal is to

find the happiness that I really want to

have you know I've worked for fifteen

years and then twelve or thirteen years

doing it you know I'm not ready to give

up a thirty year in the making plan so

maybe I just find something different

and something a lot of fun and a way to

enjoy my life you only got one of them

these lives this life you only got one

and it could end tomorrow it could end

next week so everybody out there with a

sailing partner hug them tight hold them

close don't let them get it

yeah hey and also I wanted to thank

everybody from every direction the

GoFundMe just blew my mind the support

on the GoFundMe and you know just on

messenger and on Facebook and on just

everywhere emails telephoning me coming

to me the support was phenomenal from

you guys it really saved me big time in

every single way you know now not any

one person had all the right things to

say you know the right advice but you

know 1% from you 1% from her 1% from him

1% 1% 1% I mean it really added up over

time different things that you said to

me you know different pick-me-up errs

and maybe yesterday didn't I didn't hear

it but then the next day I'd hear it

finding all the little good things that

I had in the reports ideas reminding me

to eat and drink and bringing me food

and loaning me a car and God so many so

many acts of generosity I can't tell you

how much it all helped me I couldn't

have done it without you I mean God

locked up here on the boat for

quarantine for 14 days can't see my

husband the whole 23 days until the very

last minute and the first five days I

think I forgot to eat and drink

cat didn't get fed either the poor thing

and yeah just a huge thank you to all of

you I probably have more money than I

need from that GoFundMe so if anybody

feels like

they want their money back I'm happy to

give it to you just let me know you know

make sure I know it's you but I'm happy

to give it back to you the the hospitals

here have been good I did get a second

and third bill yesterday and not quite

as generous as the first bill that I got

but I'm gonna be okay and I'm gonna have

leftover money so if if you really had

to dig deep to send me money please let

me know I'm happy to figure out how to

get it back to you there's no automated

way but I'll figure out how to get it

back to you so yeah it certainly helps I

don't know where the hospital bills will

exactly end and I don't know what

expenses I might have to you know carry

on and figure this all out but you know

you don't know what expenses you're

gonna have for you to carry on either so

and do what you have to do with your

life so if you need anything back just

please let me know you know I have you

know my feelings of guilt as well so you

know if you need the money back please

let me know I have no idea how to do it

but we'll figure it out but again thanks

everybody for your support financially

emotionally every single way I couldn't

you know that's why the future of this

YouTube channel is in your hands you

know what do you guys want because I

really owe you my life I do so thank you