Whats the REAL story behind Patrick Childress, sailing the last storm of his life? Whats the future for his wife and first mate Rebecca Childress onboard their 1976 Valiant 40, Brick House, after a near circumnavigation, and the Patrick Childress Sailing Channel here on YouTube?
Patrick and Rebecca Childress have been sailing around the world for 13 years, and recently sailed around the Cape of Good Hope, the Cape of storms, to Hout Bay, and then to one of Patrick Childress' most remembered places in the world, Cape Town, where he had visited nearly 40 years ago on his first circumnavigation aboard Juggernaut, a Catalina 27. He had spoken fondly about the Royal Cape Yacht Club for a decade before arriving here. Its interesting that Cape Town turned out to be his final resting place. Rebecca Childress now decides where her liveaboard sailing life will lead her, what to do about her liveaboard home of 25+ years, Brick House, and explains the trauma of getting very sick in a foreign country, and then losing her captain in Cape Town, South Africa.
Special Thanks to Paper Boat Project, Sailing Uma , The OKelley's, Follow the Boat and other sailing channels who helped spread the word of the fundraiser so kindly started by Leanne Coffman and Matt Ray to pay for what health insurance refused to pay. There will be full details of the day by day experience on my blog soon. (sign up below)
Check out Patricks Book : https://amzn.to/30VaOGH
PLEASE watch your favorite video of Patrick’s from down below...and consider sharing it with your sailing friends in his honor:
Weather, Lightning Storms & Sailing the MOST FEARED CAPES of South Africa!
https://youtu.be/2P7Cc2Y61aE
Sailing WILD WEATHER w/ Electronics on the WILD Coast of Africa!
https://youtu.be/A84Eplb7N2c
Propspeed & Coppercoat FAILURE? SUCCESS? Does Antifouling Paint EVER WORK??
https://youtu.be/ekt5mYihdhI
How to Heat a Boat: Our Cubic Mini Wood Burning Stove is HOT ? HOT!
https://youtu.be/PuUYSUITc_A
RUDDER FAILURE on an Ocean Passage? Let’s find out!
https://youtu.be/JF7GfY6UifQ
Is Fixing up an old sailboat w/ 500 ROTTEN BLISTERS even worth it ??
https://youtu.be/9p216qliHnY
500 ROTTEN, FESTERING Blisters!! - Blister Repair on a Fiberglass Sail boat!
https://youtu.be/XA6sL3RRNEg
Our Coppercoat Antifouling Application -DISASTER or SUCCESS?
https://youtu.be/yoRntKgOye0
Cockpit Floor Repairs - Water Drainage - NO WET SOCKS!
https://youtu.be/S65FDoTJ3pA
How to Clean the Bottom of a Sailboat Underwater!
https://youtu.be/4iTec0hV3ZU
WHAT IS YOUR CHAINPLATE ATTACHED TO? (Bulkhead Rebuild / Repair)
https://youtu.be/JHBvkCa6lzI
What if you HIT A WHALE and the WHALE STRIKES back!
https://youtu.be/LviPsmE2iwo
Peeing Off a Boat ... How to Use a Sailboat Toilet /Head
https://youtu.be/7RIVINI07D8
Don’t Buy New Anchor Chain CHEAP! (+ Chain, Windlass, Anchor Chain Locker)
https://youtu.be/A4Qf04exvnw
How to Fix a Sailboat Deck, Repair it BEFORE the Windlass RIPS OUT!!
https://youtu.be/icJCAC-2xIw
How to Rebuild a Battery Box (LEAKING lead acid batteries on a Sailboat!!)
https://youtu.be/8ANe0hA7BXg
Leaking Lead Acid Batteries on a Sailboat! (Battery Box is Destroyed!)
https://youtu.be/WYlhinRAM0I
How to Repair a Heat Exchanger /Insulate an Exhaust Riser:Yanmar Engine-
https://youtu.be/U63KBEo_VDk
Un-Armed Pirates, Intruders, & Thieves:Self Defense for Sailboats
https://youtu.be/DCTaxqQxP70
Sailboat Keel Repair/Problem: SOMETHING IS MISSING FROM OUR KEEL !!
https://youtu.be/z3hujKNVb3c
How to Remove Old Bottom Paint the EASY WAY? Heat gun? Sanding? Sandblasting?
https://youtu.be/ULfJxWhG4_s
How to Prepare a Sailboat for a Haul out in South Africa
https://youtu.be/bXVETNHUy3w
Offshore Sailing Tips: Storms at Sea, Tame the Autopilot + Mainsail Battens
https://youtu.be/asC1koOtS5I
Nothing like a Mozambique Cyclone for some FAST SAILING!
https://youtu.be/ZrGMIlweQAo
STORM & PASSAGE PREPARATION:Sailing Tanzania to S Africa
https://youtu.be/f2iT81mQnvk
MARINE ELECTRONICS: Communications at Sea, Navigation, and Sailing Apps (Iridium Go? Sextant?)
https://youtu.be/2HwX2Ilr2f4
Is Sailing in East Africa Dangerous? Preparing for Passage when DANGER LURKS!
https://youtu.be/TtEQ6YvVJgs
Bluewater Sailboat “How To” Sailing Videos Series
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list...
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#sailingAfrica #PatrickChildressSailing #TravelsAnimals
Closed Captions (CC):
hello everybody my name is Rebecca and I
wanted to let you know what's going on
on brick house between Patrick and I and
the boat and the cat and our lives and
this YouTube channel so that's what this
video is going to be about what happened
Patrick Childress and what's gonna
happen going forward with the channel
and with my life what's gonna happen
with boat and all that kind of good
stuff so let's get started as many or
most of you know Patrick and I have been
cruising aboard brick house for the last
12 going on 13 years and about to
celebrate our 13-year wedding
anniversary and yeah it's been a bad
year so far back in April we both can
contract it coronavirus Cove in 19 and I
made out okay Patrick however did not he
was very sick for three or four days and
we decided to go to the hospital by
Saturday if it wasn't any better but on
Friday it was a lot worse he was
coughing a lot you know every day I had
been taking his temperature for months
and had been asking how his breathing is
and how his chest feels and every day
fine fine fine he said this was one of
the easiest floozies ever had he had on
starting on Tuesday he had a very bad
headache very bad body aches very high
fever about a hundred and two point nine
I think was the highest that it went we
were able to control it with Tylenol and
he just spent it in bed and he just
figured that time was what he needed for
it to just pass but we agreed on
Saturday if he wasn't better that we'd
go to the hospital and see what's going
on
see if we need some medication see what
we can do
but like I said on Friday it did get a
lot worse he couldn't spit out the words
to tell me that his breathing was okay
and that his chest was okay and so
somehow I convinced him not to wait
until Saturday but to go this morning
Friday and he wanted me to do the
laundry first he was pretty grumpy which
later I found out is a sign of epoxy ax
lack of oxygen but I didn't know that
then so I just you know figured he was
in a bad mood because he wasn't feeling
well and I do though I do the laundry to
avoid any hassle with that so I went and
did the laundry as fast as I could kind
of a rush job not the best laundry to
hop in the world and then he wanted to
walk to the hospital it was about two
miles away he thought we could both use
the exercise but it was a little rainy
so I managed to talk him into just
taking a taxi instead of walking when we
got to the hospital it was a huge
surprise his temperature his temperature
was high as we knew and we didn't take
it down because we needed the hospital
to be able to see the high temperature
and his oxygen level was 83% which the
doctors really panic if it's 80% or
lower and a normal person's is about 98
percent 95 percent something like that
but his blood pressure was through the
roof it was 210 and even mine was 140
and we both have very low broad blood
pressure like 110 120 that kind of thing
so that was a big surprise and it was an
even bigger surprise when the doctor saw
him and they said that he was very close
to cardiac arrest and if we had walked
in we would have made it and if we had
waited till Saturday he would have died
of a fixation because his oxygen was so
low so it's a good thing we went down
Friday and it was just such a big
surprise to hear the doctor say that he
was very very sick that he would
probably have to go on a ventilator that
day and he needed to be admitted to ICU
right away so even as he was getting
into the ambulance he and I were looking
at each other like
what I can't believe you're going into
ICU I thought they'd give you some cough
syrup or something so they'd stop
coughing and you could breathe better
and and you didn't even feel like he
couldn't breathe you know he just felt
like he was coughing a lot and you know
he said he could breathe through his
nose so he could breathe but the oxygen
just wasn't getting anywhere so he rode
away in the ambulance after we both had
you know Koba 19 swabs and that night we
learned that we were both positive which
we both kind of thought for like two
months a month and a half he was pretty
proud that he had gotten over it
except for this new flu and mine had
lingered on and on and on and never
seemed to go away and in South Africa
maybe like many places of the world they
don't really encourage you to come in to
get tested unless you've got three big
symptoms which is fever cough and you
can't breathe and it's pretty important
that you can't breathe in order to
really get a test or really get any
tension in the hospital because they're
concentrating on people that need to be
hospitalized for this not just who want
to know if they have it or not so that
night we found that we're both positive
he very quickly I had to stay
quarantined for 14 days so when he was
complaining about the food and
complaining about not having Kleenex you
know I had to go crazy trying to find
friends that would bring these things
into them and Thank You Carolina and Bob
for being so quick to bring things in
and and the Royal Cape Yacht Club just
volunteered to do anything I needed so
many people came forward so quickly to
help me but so hard having my hands tied
and just you know asking people to bring
him lunch when they don't really know
what he likes and me not knowing what's
really available but anyway I was
quarantined on the boat for 14 days and
he was hospitalised and by Monday he had
gone down so far that he had to finally
go on the ventilator and like everybody
else reads in the world you know event
laterz the death sentence only 10%
survives so you know I think a big part
of me went into grieving right then and
there it was a really really rough week
probably the roughest week of my life
and he dent went down and down and down
and down every day the worst report 11
days of just bad report after bad report
you know and you know I thought about
transferring them to a different
hospital but everything that I've read
and heard and was told about the
hospital he is in he's in the top covin
19 hospital anywhere in South Africa so
there really wasn't anywhere to move him
I thought about trying to evacuate him
to the US but you know that was a gamble
time wise you know it's a 24-hour flight
even if you get a nonstop flight and
there are no flights out so and he had
said to me right before he went on the
ventilator you know that I was thinking
about having him evacuated to the US and
he said I mean it was the loudest that
he spoke all weekend he was no no no no
no so I wasn't going to do that and go
against everything we had talked about
beforehand if we were to ever get sick
in a foreign country so and then by
Tuesday I found out that insurance
wasn't paying first they said a pandemic
then they said a disease outbreak then
they said CDC warnings have to get back
within 10 days they had a series of
reasons why they were not going to cover
this so of course then my mind being a
pretty financial mind went into
overdrive oh my god what if it's three
hundred thousand dollars to treat him
you know you read things in the States
that it's a million dollars for people
that don't have insurance in her three
hundred thousand dollars or you know
even seventy five thousand dollars would
be horrible so yeah I went into panic
mode that talked to some lawyers and
there I am like total grieving mode and
I'm talking to lawyers and I'm talking
to oh god it was such a mess that week
it was just whoo it was just so horrible
and anyway so by day 12 or so things
started getting a little bit better
every day I got a little tiny baby baby
baby step that he was a little bit
better I think all of you guys thought
that he had turned the corner and that
he was getting better and but of course
my mind you know I'm not I don't always
think positive so easily so you know I
had a kind of mixed thing going on and I
was just you know coming up with plan a
plan B Plan C plan D everything that
could possibly happen how I'm going to
deal with it and Patrick I'm sure you've
all gathered it from watching him you
know he's pretty much a hundred percent
guy you know even if his body only came
back to 90 percent or god forbid 50
percent he would not be happy with
anything less than a hundred percent and
part of what he's done for the last 15
years is try to make me happy I mean
everything that that man has done has
been to try to make me happy and fill my
dreams so um you know I had to come up
with a plan of where we were gonna live
and what we were gonna do with the rest
of our lives so that he could be on
dialysis three times a week or live with
amputated fingers and toes or be in a
wheelchair forever or any of the number
of bad things that can come after come
out of long ventilator things like this
so but I had to find something that I
wanted to do for the rest of my life and
be at for the rest of my life so that I
could still look at him right in the eye
and say Patrick I'm happy with our lives
this is I'm thrilled to be living at XYZ
and I love my life here and I love my
life with you and and yeah this sucks
that we have to go to dialysis for six
hours every three days and yeah that
sucks but at least we're in a wonderful
place at least we're doing something
that we both love and I have to be able
to look at it look at him in the eye and
tell him that so
I felt this tremendous need to plan
something good for us because he'd
always go along with what I wanted to do
so but on day 23 I got a call at about
8:30 in the morning that said I had to
get there as quickly as possible to say
goodbye so off I raced to the hospital I
think in my pajamas glad I didn't crack
up the car went to the hospital flew in
the door got permission had the phone
calls got to the ward the nurse didn't
want me to go in until after the doctors
rounds somehow I had the presence of
thought to realize that I had the
doctors phone number on my phone so I
called him and he came out within
seconds it's like he dropped everything
and led me in there and you know all
kinds of tubes and machines and hoses
and sounds an alarm and but there was my
Patrick he was still beautiful to me
still gorgeous to me and I held his hand
didn't even look like his hand anymore
it was all like inflamed and gorged with
and it be my guess and and I stroked his
forehead his nose his ears this
beautiful white hair and just told him
it was okay that he put up such a good
fight and he tried so hard and I knew he
wasn't doing it on purpose
and then that I joined him on the other
side someday and but that it was okay
for him to go and you know his yeah his
eyes were staring his eyes were staring
right at the ceiling you know kind of in
a I think he was on morphine at this
point so he was just staring at the
ceiling and
and as I was talking to him his eyes
just darted for just like a second or
two and looked right at me and then a
tear came out of his left eye it's like
when we got married and then all the
machines all of a sudden said zero and
they flatlined all the lines going
across just like you see in the movies
and he was gone
okay okay so I've washed my face and
stopped crying I want to show you what
he did with his eyes you know besides
the tear I want to show you what he did
with his eyes maybe somebody you know
with a medical background can comment
down below about whether it was just a
just a nerve movement or if he really
was trying to look at me and see me one
more time but like I'm staring at the
camera right now those are his eyes
staring staring at the ceiling and then
I'm over I don't know what side it would
be but anyway I'm over there and his
eyes went like this no not like that
like I'm staring at the ceiling and they
went like that and then the tear came
from his eye so you know I don't know if
that was a one last attempt to see me or
look at me or apologize to me for
leaving I don't know jeez I'm gonna cry
him no not gonna cry again um so anyway
they wanted me to stay at the hospital
and do some paperwork or something but I
couldn't do it so I just said I'm going
to leave now and I took off my PPE the
way that they had told me to take off
the PPE and I left I went pretty fast
out of the hospital of course you know I
still had all my lung problems from
Kovan 19 so I'm huffing
puffing and just trying to find my way
out of this huge hospital and remember
this one old man looked at me and I just
said which way do I get out where's the
exit he looked at me he looked like he
was a crazy man I probably looked like I
was a crazy woman and and then I kept
going and I got out to the parking lot
and somehow I drove the car back and
didn't crack it up and didn't get lost
and went right to the boat and hugged my
cat for a long time and then friends
came over in the afternoon two or three
girlfriends you know just came right on
and gave me hugs thank God for those
hugs I don't want to cry you don't want
to see me cry okay so they came over and
you know one of them helped me make
funeral arrangements and one of them
just brought me something to eat
and we had some laughs and talked about
other things and just tried to get
through that day and we got through that
day and then they went home to their
friends in there
lovers and husbands and God the
loneliness really set in then so anyway
so what's next well I'm making a bunch
of you know executor things signing
papers and getting death certificates
making funeral arrangements he's going
to be cremated he's cremated now by the
time I'm writing this he's created and
at some point someday when I'm far out
at Ocean in the ocean again I'll be
spreading his ashes he liked to be far
away from land so that's where I'll be
putting his ashes and then hopefully
from brick house and let's see as far as
the boat goes you know I had a lot of
plans that I've gone through every day I
have a different plan then I guess
that's why they say don't make any big
decisions in the first few weeks because
they'll change every day and they have
first I thought about just taking the
boat out with his ashes just taking it
out to sea maybe another boat coming
with me and just dumping you know just
letting the captain go down with the
boat just scuttling the boat and letting
it sink but that would be a waste so
decided not to do that decided to sell
the boat here maybe give a South African
that really wants to go cruising with a
nice boat an opportunity to own
something very nice for not so much
money but that didn't make a hell of a
lot of financial sense for me it's not
like I'm rich so then I decided you know
I'd get friends or pay some captains or
something maybe use say low po2 you know
get the boat home and sell it in the US
so I'd make my money but sell the boat
lose my husband my sailing partner the
love of my life my soul mate you know
lose him
and lose my home all at the same month
or year you know I had this boat before
I met Patrick I lived on this boat
before I met Patrick so why do I have to
get rid of my home yeah it's probably
the best financial thing she's at the
top of her game she's had everything
done in the last year she's in perfect
condition and that's what Patrick and I
had always talked about that if he was
to pass away that that I'd sell the boat
as quickly as possible and get the most
amount of money for it it's a famous
boat right and it's in perfect shape
right so I I looked into that for a
while and um but I still was like lose
my boat I mean I worked for before I
ever knew Patrick I worked for 15 years
to have this boat and
have this lifestyle and thank God I
found him to share it with me in the end
but I don't want to lose all that I
don't want to lose it all you know it's
it's a whole different thing without
Patrick but I don't want to lose it and
I don't want to just go and have
somebody help me take the boat someplace
and finish my circumnavigation just
because Patrick would be proud of that
you know it's about what I'm proud of
now and I just want to continue this
life you know I like sailing to
different places in different countries
and doing it damn slow so I can get to
know every country and so I'm gonna do
that I'm gonna find a way to do that you
know I'm not a single hander I'm not a
good sailor I'm very much a fair-weather
sailor I really suck at sailing but you
know if I can find you know one or two
crew long-term I don't want somebody for
two or three weeks to help me get it
from point A to point B and then leave
when they get to the Anchorage you know
I want to share the sailing the passage
making the day sailing the anchoring the
exploring on land I want to share that
with a person or two you know somebody
my age 50 60s male or female it doesn't
really matter I'm not looking for a
lover I'm not looking for a husband I'm
just looking for somebody to share life
with and share adventures with and see
the world and be free and all the stuff
that I've worked with it worked for for
15 years and then sailed for for the
last 13 years so yeah that's what I want
to figure out a way to do I think it
might be impossible I don't know you
know talk to other single-handed females
that have had a similar situation and
you know while you get his old horny
geezers and young guys that want an
extended booze cruise and you know you
don't really get anybody in their 50s or
60s to sail with I mean it was so hard
to find the first
time you know what makes me think I can
find it a second time right so but I'm
gonna try gonna give it a shot see what
happens but I don't want to give up
everything this year it's hard enough to
give up Patrick so yeah that's the plan
I don't know how soon it'll happen I'm
in lockdown here until I don't know
September November next February
who knows when it will you know finish
here and let us leave my visa is
expiring in a couple weeks but I don't
think it matters I think they'll just
let us stay until this lockdown finishes
I'm just a little nervous about you know
if it lifts on September 1st that's in
two months you know what if I don't have
somebody on this boat to go sailing with
to go sailing away and they want me to
leave I'm not getting on a plane without
my cat I'm not getting on a plane
without the ability to get back to my
home for months and months and you know
I don't want to go back and live in a
house in the u.s. even part time I want
to live in my home here on the boat so
anyway that's the plan
I hope it's been the plan for at least
four days now that's longer than any
other plan has stuck but we'll see what
happens
and let's see if there's any buddy out
there that wants to go see the world
with me Brazil Namibia Spain the
Caribbean I don't know
Patagonia no yeah my life's never gonna
be the same again but maybe it can be
just different and good too so you know
I know that Patrick you know he spent
the last 15 years trying to help me fill
my dream and do what I want to do with
my life
almost like my life was more important
than his and he wouldn't want me to be
sitting here crying doing this video
he'd be very unhappy with me crying
through this video he'd be saying to me
what's taking so long
aren't you gonna get on with your life
it could be finished next year it could
be finished tomorrow so why are you
spending today crying get on with it so
I'm gonna really try and get on with it
and find a way to be happy okay so
what's next for this YouTube channel I
don't know what do you guys think you
know leave some comments down below what
do you think I should do next should I
just leave this channel let this be the
last video and be done with it and let
it just be what was really his channel
I'll never be able to make videos like
that he was the film er the photographer
the videographer the editor and then
once it was finished that's where I took
over and did all the other logistics
that you don't even see I know how to do
those but I have no idea how to use a
camera and really no idea how to edit
just even just trying to pick a an
editing program he hated the one that he
used movie MAGIX Movie Maker MAGIX
something like that he had just bought
DaVinci something and I'm gonna try that
one and I'm gonna try the free one that
comes with Windows Movie Maker 10 and
see which one I can handle see if I can
do this at all see if I can make any
worthwhile video but what do you want to
hear more about do you want to hear
about sailing from a woman's perspective
from a Widow's perspective
that's entertaining I don't know we have
I have footage from him still even
intros that we did about our new
security system about our lithium
batteries about our bomb our high output
alternator and serpentine belt and and
regulator I have covered video footage
of our new hybrid hot-water heater from
taured water my water heaters yeah I
have some footage I mean some of it
silent just showing the installation I'd
have to do voiceovers like he was
apparently planning to do it's gonna
take some serious learning a serious
upgrade to my skills to learn how to do
that but I'm willing if you guys want to
see it I'm willing to learn it if I can
I'm sure I can and or do you want to see
you know maybe it depends a lot on who
the guys are that I get on board the
guys and the girls and what their
interest level is you know maybe one of
them has a drone maybe we just do
destinations now you know what do you
guys want to see let me know in the
comments down below would be interesting
to hear what you think this channel
could become or should become or maybe I
should just not do anymore at all I
don't know there will be at least one
more video because Patrick has one
that's already I just didn't think it
was the right time to put it up yet
because it's totally of me he's not in
it at all unless he's maybe in the intro
or something but yeah he's not in it at
all it's about predict wind about the
Iridium go and about how we get that all
on the Raymarine chartplotter
so yeah a little little technical video
not that technical pretty pretty
beginners but just to show you what it
can do so that one's all finished
I haven't managed to do my part of it to
get it up in all these weeks I've been
doing a lot of other things and but that
one will be easy for me to put up after
this one so I guess I'll plan on that
one next but um I hope you won't
unsubscribe I hope you'll subscribe if
you haven't already and I hope you'll
give me a thumbs up to encourage me to
do these or maybe give me a lot of
thumbs down that'll tell me don't bother
we don't want to see you Rebecca we're
here to see Patrick and and what I'll do
is I'll put a down in the description
down below I'll put a whole list with
links of all of Patrick's videos so you
can easily find them all and it would be
great if you would share any one of
those or even just watch one of those
sort of as a tribute to Patrick I think
that would be pretty cool so yeah find
one down below find your favorite one
and share it with your friends with your
sailing friends that would be cool yeah
we'll see where this goes let us know
what you think let me know god I gotta
get out of the habit of saying we and us
there's no more we or us there's you
know Patrick will always be by my side
and I know that he's already next to me
saying hurry up have some fun find some
people to go sailing with and go I know
he's saying that and so that's what I'm
gonna do that's that'll be my goal is to
find the happiness that I really want to
have you know I've worked for fifteen
years and then twelve or thirteen years
doing it you know I'm not ready to give
up a thirty year in the making plan so
maybe I just find something different
and something a lot of fun and a way to
enjoy my life you only got one of them
these lives this life you only got one
and it could end tomorrow it could end
next week so everybody out there with a
sailing partner hug them tight hold them
close don't let them get it
yeah hey and also I wanted to thank
everybody from every direction the
GoFundMe just blew my mind the support
on the GoFundMe and you know just on
messenger and on Facebook and on just
everywhere emails telephoning me coming
to me the support was phenomenal from
you guys it really saved me big time in
every single way you know now not any
one person had all the right things to
say you know the right advice but you
know 1% from you 1% from her 1% from him
1% 1% 1% I mean it really added up over
time different things that you said to
me you know different pick-me-up errs
and maybe yesterday didn't I didn't hear
it but then the next day I'd hear it
finding all the little good things that
I had in the reports ideas reminding me
to eat and drink and bringing me food
and loaning me a car and God so many so
many acts of generosity I can't tell you
how much it all helped me I couldn't
have done it without you I mean God
locked up here on the boat for
quarantine for 14 days can't see my
husband the whole 23 days until the very
last minute and the first five days I
think I forgot to eat and drink
cat didn't get fed either the poor thing
and yeah just a huge thank you to all of
you I probably have more money than I
need from that GoFundMe so if anybody
feels like
they want their money back I'm happy to
give it to you just let me know you know
make sure I know it's you but I'm happy
to give it back to you the the hospitals
here have been good I did get a second
and third bill yesterday and not quite
as generous as the first bill that I got
but I'm gonna be okay and I'm gonna have
leftover money so if if you really had
to dig deep to send me money please let
me know I'm happy to figure out how to
get it back to you there's no automated
way but I'll figure out how to get it
back to you so yeah it certainly helps I
don't know where the hospital bills will
exactly end and I don't know what
expenses I might have to you know carry
on and figure this all out but you know
you don't know what expenses you're
gonna have for you to carry on either so
and do what you have to do with your
life so if you need anything back just
please let me know you know I have you
know my feelings of guilt as well so you
know if you need the money back please
let me know I have no idea how to do it
but we'll figure it out but again thanks
everybody for your support financially
emotionally every single way I couldn't
you know that's why the future of this
YouTube channel is in your hands you
know what do you guys want because I
really owe you my life I do so thank you
